Now What?

I feel as if the Lord is showing me things every day recently. He seems to be reforming me. A man in my congregation pulled me aside last Sunday. With tears in his eyes he said that in the past few weekds he is seeing me melt in God's hands as I preach. My eyes are filling with tears as I type this post. (I will use that as an excuse for any spelling or errors in grammar contained in this post.) So if God is melting me, and reforming me, what's next? What does being reformed look like?

For the past 2 plus months I have felt such a strong burden before I preach each week that is nearly overwhelming. Each week I feel that the messages are so vital that I can literally feel them in my gut. Not the "I just just preached a stinker" feeling. (Unfortunately I know that stinker feeling all too well.) This is a sense that what I am trying to preach is so important that I have to make sure it is heard and applied.

The being reformed feeling is that the Lord is working on me more than anyone else. Everything I read seems to apply to the messages. I had an allergic reaction to some medication and one of my first thoughts was "I can use this in one of these messages." So what does this all mean? Now what? I don't know, but I am excited and nervous about what it might mean.

So here I go, now what Lord?